Levels of Listening

Intro

Listening is a skill that transforms relationships. When someone truly listens, we feel safe, seen and more connected. That feeling is called attunement.

In this tool, you'll learn the three levels of listening:

- Level 1 is me focused. I am planning what to say or drifting to my own agenda.

- Level 2 is them focused. I give the person my full attention and stay with their words.

- Level 3 is a wider focus. I notice all of Level 2 plus tone, pauses, body language, energy, and the environment.

Instructions

1. Reflect on a time you fully focused on listening to someone.Describe the situation and include observations beyond their words, such as their tone, body language, and energy.
2. How do you think it felt for them to be heard?To empathize, close your eyes and reflect on how it feels when someone is engaged and fully listening to you.
3. Where can you practice more Level 2 and 3 listening?Reflect on areas you want to bring in more Level 2 (paying full attention to them and their words) and Level 3 (noticing body language, energy, and environment).
4. How can you make it easier for yourself to listen?Choose habits you can focus on, such as intentional eye contact, putting your phone screen down, asking a question before responding, or summarizing what you heard.